No Can Do!

"Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right."



This week I had a revelation about how often I tell myself I can't do something. It started in Martial Arts. Master Ali took us through a set of exercises ranging from practicing forms to dragging your training partner accross the room (very tiring). I did these as I ussually do with confidence that I could do things. In fact, I was already observing a certain level of judgement. For instance, I wa staking pride in remembering certain things, and getting rattled when I forgot.



Master Ali did an exercise where we held two sticks and banged them togeteher while the class practiced agility by stepping between the sticks. From the moment I saw the drill I was starting to dread it. I realized that before I tried the exercise I had convinced myslef that I couldn't do it. In fact, I couldn't. I jumped in and the sticks hit my foot. Two or thre times I tried to no avail.



But this time I realized why. I was telling myself I couldn't jump rope, that I had poor rythum, that I never did good at these things, and a thousand other things I had learned from failures since childhood.



So, I made a decision to just forget that bullshit and do it.



Now by the end of class I was not doing it as well as others, but I had managed to get seven repetitions out. With a little more practice I am sure I could have done it much better.



I was pretty sore after the workout so I decided to go for a nice easy Yoga workout. Mandy was teaching. I was pretty sore from the Tukong training so I decided to go and just kind of take it easy. A little Hatha would work the kinks out.





Mandy focused on backbends that day, and then went to full wheel. She heard my little snide snort when she said "







I was essentially doing it again. Telling myself I can't do it. I was sore, tired, and have never ever ever come even close to raisning my head in wheel.


This time was particularly bad because Mandy decided to work with me in front of the whole class. So imagine the forces at work in my mind:

• I can't do this
• my chest is tight
• back bends just aren't my thing
• I am already tired and don't want to do this
• a classroom full of beautiful women is watching me try this, oh god I look ridiculous!

Three times I tired.

Three times Mandy pushed coached instructed discussed and told me what to do.

I didn't do it, and in fact, almost cranked my neck a couple of times.

So then we went off to practice with a partner and I was lucky enough to have another yoga teacher as my partner. At that moment I realized I had once again told myself that I couldn't do it.

So I made a point to push into it, and make sure I knew I was able to do it. I was able to push up into wheel and get my head off the ground for about five seconds. It was a breakthrough...first time in my life I could do it.

So today I learned that the secret to success is to catch yourself when you think you can't. Identify that dialogue and tell yourself you can.

It sounds easy, but believe me, it is very hard. Your mind is smart, and it will come up with all kinds of logical reasons why you can't do something. It will provide you with evidence based on past experiences. It will fill you with fear of injury, humiliation and failure.

Another thing. No matter how experienced you are in your practice, this will come back. I had a break through today, but in a week, or a day, or an hour later, the mind will once again place limits on what I can do. It demands constant attention.

Recovery from Mistakes

Living in the Moment

When you make a mistake don't hold on to it. Once I was practicing moving hard blocking, which is a series of seven sets of moves designed to move your body in unconventional ways. They are also sometimes refered to as "confusion forms". Even after practicing these forms for many years I still have days where I miss a move. I take an extra step, or miss a punch. It is like my mind plays tricks.

So on this day I tried to do moving hard blocking 1-7 and on the 3 series I made a mistake. Then the 4th, then the 5th, then the 6th. By the 7th series I was totally befuddled. One of the black belts said "don't let the mistake carry forward."

Master Ali has emphasized this before several promotion tests. He says, "If you make a mistake while testing either reset and say 'permission to do again', or carry on through."
"Don't stop and go ugh!" he usually mimics someone in a front stance shaking their head in frustration "no one wants to see that."

When you make a mistake, go to the next moment fresh and with an open mind. Live in that moment, don't waste a micro second on regret. This is particularly important if there are high stakes. In a combat situation regret and self examination will get you killed.

Learn from Mistakes

Even though you live in the moment, don't be accepting.

Grandmaster Yi saw the whole class was having a hard time with a sequence he was teaching. At the end of class he emphasized the need to learn from your mistakes. So while you shouldn't dwell on your mistakes, you should learn from them.

One thing he said that stuck in my mind was "don't smile when you make a mistake" . Smiling says it is ok, or that you are making the mistake, but don't care. Don't be accepting of mistakes.

Don't Understand, Do It

A few days ago we were working on an intense set of sparring moves, and I just wasn't doing it right.

Master Ali told me how to do it,
I missed the move.
He told me again
and I said,"Understood"
"Don't understand it" he replied,
"Do it"

Nothing could have summed it up better. It is not about dealing with mistakes, or fixing something wrong. It is about doing it right!

Don't understand....DO IT!

A momentary lapse

One of the great benefits of training in a mind-body system is that you learn to handle mistakes better than most people. This point was made by one of Shaival in a Tukong Moosul class. We practiced observation of the breath. This is an incredibly difficult exercise to do corretly.

Observation of Breath

In this exercise we observed our breath. This involves sitting still, closing your eyes and observing how your breath goes in and out accross your upper lip. It is not relaxing your breath and controlling it, nor counting slowly while you breath in and out. This is somewhat difficult, but much easier than simply observing your breath.

In my practice I find this a little disconcerting. If I ignore my breath it takes care of itself. But if I observe it, I need to focus on the in and out, controlling the length and depth of the breath.

Observing without interfering is disturbing to me. I feel the breath go out, and in that moment before it returns I jump in and tell my lungs to inhale. So far I have not been able to watch such a fundamental thing without letting the mind control it.

Martial Arts Application

In Martial Arts there are many tests. The tests may be for a promotion. You may be tested by tring to do something new or simply trying to do a form you have practiced for years. I have noticed that many people are unable to get past a mistake. They are worried about what people think, or concerned about how poorly they do, or how hard it is.

A good martial artist is unconcerned about the past or future. I once read something from Musashi that said a true warrior does not go into battle considering the outcome. If he considers the outcome he will surely fail. *

If, heaven forbid, you are ever in a conflict, the ability to live in the instant of conflict could save your life! Ideally you would never be hit by someone else. A good martial artist has the ability to spring to their feet after being knocked down and continue fighting as though nothing happend ---- of course, a master is never knocked down, but that is another subject.

Yoga Application

My inability to observe my breath is at the core of why Savasana is so hard for me. I will have to work on this.

*I read this and pondered it in Book of Rings. I have since been unable to find the exact quote. If someone can find it, please pass it along.

Application in Life

How powerful would every business dealing be if we live in the moment? If we were unconcerned about our promotion, lay offs, and how good we look to others we would be highly effective in all of our dealings.

Consider how many ventures have been cancelled because people were more concerned with the outcome of the undertaking. In your personal life I encourage you to take Musashi's advice, be a warrior who is unconcerned with the outcome.

Be a Mountain

I am exploring a common thread in all aspects of my life, and this aspect is being like a mountain.

Mind body exercises are great because every movement, every session can be a metaphor for your life.

Tukong

Master Ali asks me if I have any questions about the form I am working on. I reply that the main thing is I know there are things about my forms in general that I am unaware need fixing...this is code for tell me the one thing I need to work on in my practice.

Master Ali said that my motions were too tight and small. Tukong is a mountain form of martial arts. This means that movements are like climbing a mountain. Your motions should be big and definitive. While we learn other ways, we tend to practice in a big, solid way.

In contrast, there are times when you move in "beach" style. In this way your movements are small, and very close in. Picture walking up a mountain versuswalking in a big mushy beach with shifting sand.

I discussed when beach style was good versus mountain style. Master Ali showed me a few examples of each, but emphasized that my practice was too close. In fact, I had heard that from several black belts.

My Tukong movements were too constricted, too small.

Professional Development
Flash back to a couple of months ago. I had merged my Zero Waste Network with the UT Arlington Division for Enterprise Development. Our director was at a conference and wanted me to promote the Center for Environmental Excellence. I asked her to give me the vision.

She looked at me for a moment, and then said "you need to articulate the vision". This led to a discussion that basiclyamounted to my movements being small. I was looking at my small business unit, she wanted me to be looking, and assuming leadership for, the entire environmental program.

It was time to think big.

Inner Body Bright
Anyusara Yoga teachers frequently use the term "inner body bright". Inner body bright is very hard to explain, but easy to see, and with focus, easy to do.

Take a moment and stand with your arms at your side.

Now picture a giant power field eminating from your core, out through your limbs, into your head, glowing out around your body. If you watch, you will see that your body will seem to swell up from the inside. You wil look bigger.

So in Yoga the other day I set the intention of "being the mountain", which in my mind is pretty much "inner body bright". The teacher Sanieh, actually noticed that something was up, and made a point of letting me know.

Be a Mountain
Being a mountain gives you an enormous amount of personal power and influence. People take notice of you when you are in a room. Setting the intention of being the mountain immediately begins a change in:

• your posture, which gets taller.




• your breath, begins to expand becase your lungs have lots of room to take in air,




• your eyes tend to sparkle a little, and you are looking around,and seeing a whole valley




• you tend to move decisively




• you speak with conviction,

But not all the time

So why aren't we always being a mountain? Well, as in Tukong and Yoga, the mountain is not alway the bset way to move. When the path is uncertain, or we need to let others stand tall it is good to use 'beach style".

In martial arts, you change your energy constantly to seek advantage. You may be able to tower like a giant even when your opponent is bigger than you. But if both of you are being a mountain, it may be good to turn into a tight little stream and cut them in half.

Note that in martial arts mountain style is used to control the space. So, if you want others to speak, act, or express themselves in any way,back your mountain down for a while.

In my personal life being a mountain can be inspirational, but in some situations it is intimidating. I noticed this first in a supermarket. People were saying "excuse me" and not walking past me even when there was a lot of physical space around me. I could be looking at something in an asle that could hold three of me. People would stop as though I were blocking the whole aisle.

The certainty of your speaking can mislead people, giving them the impression you know what you are talking about when you are guessing. A friend of mine got irritated in Korea because he thought I knew where I was. In my mind I was saying "I think it is over there". He heard "it IS over there".

If you have had a long and intensely high energy yoga practice. Make sure you take a moment to go inside. Bring your energy back into your core and let it cool. Ashtanga practice always ends with a series of tight postures. This prepares you for final relaxation, and lets you get the maximum health benefits.

Big and Small

Scholars of the ancient Chinese game of strategy, Wei Qi (Go), willl tell you that all strategy is about knowing when to make a big move and when to make a small move. If you never make a big move you will be "living small". You may survive, but youwill be unsatisfied. However, people who move big all the time will have massive losses.

When you are on uncertain ground, revert to beach style. For instance, in business make sure you understand a contract before you step out on the sand. Ask many questions, examine each step closely. Once you sign it, the ground is firm execute the strength of a mountain.

My Temper, My Quads

No doubt about it now, every time I get into a pose that stretches my quads I start to feel irritated. Liz was working on Hero pose (vira sana) and I was just getting more and more angry. It started with frustration (why cant I do this pose), then fear (is that my knee?) and ended with outright irritation (why in the HELL don't we do another pose....HERO AGAIN! C'MON LIZ, DO ANOTHER POSE

This by the way is a variation with the toes bent....(photo from Downward Blog)


I really wasn't being much of a hero.

So here is my conclusion.

1. I tend to sit in a pose, much like the one I am in now. Hips folded in an unnatural chair, psoas compressed, quadricepts tightening.

I do this all the time, and have done it for quite some time.

2. The hips are supposed to contain the fight or flight mechanism. Stetching that tight muscle releases aggression.

Liz mentioned that Hero pose does a really cool thing. It connects the heart to the core.

This got me thinking of a story Grandmaster Wonik Yi told us.

"There once was a region that the king wanted to collect taxes from, but the people were fearsome fighters. The king sent a general who had strength. One year later the people sent a basket to the king with the strong generals head in it.

So the king sent a general who was smart. For three years the rebellious region sent tribute. Then one year the tribute came with the smart generals head in it.

So the king sent a general with a strong heart. The next year, and forevermore the people of the region sent more tribute than was asked.

The moral is:
Strong body is weaker than strong mind
strong mind is weaker than strong heart."

So let's think about this hips to heart thing. What would a person who had mastered Hero Pose be like? The following is pure conjecture on my part, I could be completely wrong.

Mastering Hero's pose connects the heart to the core. Or the physical strenght to physical compassion.

If one could master this they would be powerful and loved for their power. They would have a lot of strength. Their strength would emenated from the Tan Tien (a.k.a. the root lock manipura). This area holds the power that is projected in martial arts moves.

If I can master this pose (and apply the principle at all times) I can be cool under pressure
I can avoid conflict out of compassion, but never from fear
When I do enter conflict I could do so without anger, maintaining my awareness, emotional stability and strenght all at once.

This is very exciting.

Appropriate Use of Force

For the past two days we have been reviewing a series of joint locking techniques. These techniques consist of trapping some part of the body, like the elbow, shoulder, wrist or thumb. When you feel these techniques even lightly applied your knees turn to jello. If force is applied to that one small part of the body the whole body just melts, and in that moment you can lead your opponent wherever you want.

The key is learning how to apply that force at just the right angle with perfect timing. I was practicing one today and I went left instead of right; I noted this worked fine since I still controlled the person and my elbow was in a perfect position for a strike. Shaval (the instructor) however was not going to let me off that easy; he noted that from the position we started I had a number of strikes available to me.

"If someone grabs you with both hands" he said "I am grateful because both my hands are free to strike his face
groin
elbows"
with each word he showed a strike.

"The point is not to break our friends nose here, but to control them"

hmmmm...

A true martial artist has a large arsenal at his disposal for any situation. He can launch a debilitating kick, or simply escape the grasp. In this case we apply pressure to a tiny joint and basically arrest their movement. This is the essence of martial arts.

We are not street fighters who simply seek to win a conflict. We are artists who turn conflict into art; the ideal outcome could be no conflict at all.

If someone grabs you what is the best response?
Talk?
Escape their grasp?
Strike the arm so they release and think twice?
Lock their weak joints and bring them to the ground?
Strike them so hard that they are permenantly injured?

A fighter always goes to the last option, they seek to fight and win. The artists will instantly apply the correct response.

This is why we must train our philosophy and hearts as much as our body. If we only go around hitting people at every conflict then you are probably going to eventually wind up in jail or the hospital; not to mention unnecessary pain you inflict on others. Yet only with a lack of fear and complete awareness can we react with the correct response.

We must use our art to get the desired outcome. Applying a small amount of force to a weak point.

Three moves in a form

Master Ali helped us with forms. I can tell I am improving because this time he waited until the first move to offer correction. The last time he started at "ready position". The higher your rank the more exacting the instruction becomes. There is no end to the detail.

Red Belt Test

After a year without testing I decided I was ready to retire my blue belt and go for promotion. Grandmaster Wonik Yi administered the test. A few days before testing he told us that he had meditated and decided to make the testing more challenging. He felt the tests had been getting informal and that he wanted to move back to traditional testing.
For the next two days we heard that an "interesting" test was coming. On the day of the test I knew we were in trouble. We were asked about injuries and encouraged to quit if we had health problems.
Our tests have about 7 judges which consist of some of our most advanced practitioners.
I don't htink it is right to go into details, but I can tell you the test encompassed a broad range of skills. The test was very challenging...physically and mentally. It lasted 2 1/2 hours! Two days later I am still sore.
However I am glad to have passed this test. Testing is a good way to learn control, even in unpredictable and challenging situations. This last round has inspired me to practice harder, and work on my conditioning. Need to start running again.