I thought I was hot shit! I could skate on one leg, and was even starting to skate backwards. Oh, I thought I was doing good. I was starting to pass a lot of people. I could keep up with Dancin' Queen while she glided around the rink doing her funk moves to MC Hammer.
But I was still a mere beginner until I got David Bailey's Magic Skates!® Even the way they came to be mine was magic. It was a lesson in Karmic Generosity.
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I could tell they were Magic Skates!® before I even put them on. They were made of two tone leather. The wheels spun for hours if you pushed them. Others saw it too. As I walked into the front door, I could see the envious admiration in the eyes of the regulars. |
I had to fight to get them on. They were really tight at first, but when I pushed my toe into David Bailey's Magic Skates!® they started to morph and bend until they wrapped around my foot. You might say, they became my foot. I was no longer wearing David Baileys Magic Skates!® they were wearing me.
At first it was terrifying. These were not the paltry rentals I was used to. The slightest effort sent me whizzing around the rink...it was terrifying to move so fast, terrifying and intoxicating.
Faster and faster I went, the urethane coating on the hard concrete skating rink began to heat and leave tracks of fire behind me.
Still I went faster. The air began to rush by me, and the sound of ABBA playing "Dancin' Queen" began to distort in a hollow sound. I felt the air rattle.
I had broken the sound barrier, and still I could go faster.
The glittering roller skate shapped disco ball began to shimmer oddly as my blurred form raced around the rink. I was amazed to see its sparkly disco bubbles take on a blueish tint at the front and a redish hue at the back....
I was going warp 1...warp 5! Only Da' Bomb (at Warp Factor 9) was passing me now! In fact, I was almost as fast as the Player skating backwards.
Distorted sounds, then a warning flash from the roller rink police..."Slow it down!" I had never been told to slow down before...but I complied.
Just as some people are lovers and not fighters, I am a dancer not a speedster. So, when I heard the Bee Gees playing "Staying Alive", I let the Magic Skates!® take over.
The Coach came by and showed me some moves. A Salsa Cross Over. Several of the regulars slowed and took note. When the Break Dancer line passed by I was right behind them in rythum as we heard K.C. and the Sunshine Band "Get Down."
Soon I was skating on one leg, spinning to the left, then the right, then leaping in the air...a triple pike as I skipped on the rail!
Tonja Harding was waiting in tears for me as I left. "Can you show me some moves?" she begged.
"Sorry babe, only the charmed one's have David Bailey's Magic Skates! ® "
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